I am very sorry to have to tell you all this, my Tender Lumplings, but today’s post is going to be and all out rant. I know, I know, I don’t like it any more than you do but sometimes a person just has to get it out and say what they think and today is that day. But fear not, I have already talked with some people about this topic and they, mostly, agree with me and so you may also. That means this particular rant may elicit more cheers of agreement than jeers of dismay. I can tell you are all getting anxious to hear this and find out what has me so worked up. I won’t keep you waiting any longer.
Modern medical science is truly amazing. The things they can do to repair damage, swap out old parts for new and alter the body’s chemistry with pharmaceuticals is wonderful. I, myself take a few, shall we say, supplements that do me a world of good. Do I like having to take them? No, not really. I wish I didn’t have to take them but I do. And if, like me, someone has a legitimate medical need for drugs then they should also take them. That all being said, I also think that as a society we are too quick to want to label every tiny ailment and start popping pills needlessly. The reason we do this does not lie solely on the shoulders of the modern medical machine. It is in no small part the fault of the drug manufacturers. But mostly it is the marketing and advertising people.
Let me give an example. I person know who is advancing in years was recently observed by you humble Narrator shuffling along, taking slow and shallow steps. Another person passing by, filled with Christian concern for his fellow man, stopped and said “hey, (name deleted), are you ok?” To which the other person replied in a feeble voice, “no, I have Fibro Myalgia, and it is pretty bad today”. This was met with a heartfelt “aahh” form the other person who then began to offer words of sympathy and encouragement. As I witnessed this, I too thought of some words: yeah, right. Fibro Myalgia? No, that is crap. You are getting older and things hurt. That is just the way it is. Acid Reflux Disease? No, you had a chili dog and now you have heartburn. It happens.
This is what got me going. These made up sickness that are things people have been living with forever they that feel they have to label and then sell a pill for. But that is only part of the terrible practices the marketing people have come up with. Another trend I can’t stand is calling everything by its initials. Like we are so busy we can’t say the whole thing. COPD, ED, RLS, OMG! And the grand pappy of all the things I just don’t get with some of the new drug commercials are side effects disclaimers.
There have always been the lines in the commercials where they tell you the possible side effects of the drug. It’s a legal thing and that’s fine. But it seems they have just gotten way out of hand recently. There is one for a drug that treats a skin condition. And the side effects it may cause are ten times worse than the condition is it supposed to treat. Would you rather have some itchy dry skin on your elbows or die of butt cancer? And then there is the asthma drug that will either alleviate your asthma symptoms or cause your asthma to kill you. What? Really? Now I’ve seen people having asthma attacks and it does look like fun but do you want to take a drug that may cause the thing it is supposed to be treating to kill you. Madness! There is even one drug that it says in the commercial “scientists think (drug name deleted) works by acting on receptors in the brain”. They don’t even know how this shit does what it does but they want you to swallow them by the handfuls anyway and keep writing those checks.
That is what it is all really about, money. Just like the snake oil salesmen of old, convince people you can cure something you’ve already convinced them they have and then sell it at the highest price they will pay. Then triple that price and have your buddy sell them some insurance to help them pay for it.
It’s all a vicious cycle that will continue on and on. You either shut up and take it or join them. That is why I am announcing the debut of my new miracle salve: Dr. Zak’s Super Fix It Balm and Floor Cleaner. Yours for only $19.99 a bottle. But wait, order in the next 10 minutes and I’ll double the offer (just pay separate processing and handling). Until next time my dearies…
