Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Return of the Power Trio

Blogging is hard work. Don't let anyone tell you any different. It's not like working on a road crew or hanging steel building a skyscraper. It's not as hard as being a plumber or a cop. But trying to come up with something to write about everyday, or even every few days, is pretty tough. Unless you are one of those losers who blogs everything they do no matter how trivial and mundane. But let's face it, that is pointless and a total waste of time. If all you have to do is sit there and write about who your Alphabits spelled out a rude and amusing word this morning or the funny face your cat made, well then you should just turn in your human race membership card and go away.

I'm not saying that anything I've put in this blog is a mind blowing revelation. I'm not in the business of shifting paradigms or redefining genres. I don't even know what most of those words mean.

Anyway, My Tender Lumplings, it has been a while since we last met. A lot has happened and much of it was worthy of it's own blog entry but I didn't manage to compose a single line. So here I will give a brief note to three of the top happenings:

The Dreams: Over several nights I dreamt of hauntings, towns that don't exist, a wonderful song that I couldn't remember when I awoke and various other strange things. The one that bothered me the most was the song. It was a really great song and would be a hit. If I could remember it.

The Car: I don't know if I've mentioned my project that I'm working on. I am trying to bring a 1986 Fiero back from the edge of life. It works but not at all well. I tried to drive it for the first time the other day and it wouldn't even back out of the drive.

The Craft: The holidays are coming and I am trying to develop some lovely items to sell to make some cash to buy more lovely items. I am devilishly clever and extremely talented, if I do say, so I'm sure it will all be a great success. I'm also selling beachfront property on the moon.

Until we meet again.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Do Not Opperate Heavy Machinery

Presented now a (very) brief overview of the operation of the Ditch Witch SK-650 mini skid steer.

The SK-650 is powered by a small diesel engine which both drives the treads and the hydraulic pump. To start the engine insert the key in the top right side of the control panel. Switch to the ON position and then rotate clockwise to the START position. Release the key when the engine starts. Do not hold the key in the START position for more than 20 seconds if the engine does not engage.

Driving the SK-650 is by means of two levers on the left side of the control panel. The left lever controls the left tread and the right lever controls the right tread. Pushing both forward moves the machine forward. Pull back to move in reverse. Moving only the left lever forward moves the machine to the right. Moving only the right lever moves the machine to the left. Moving both levers together in varying degrees allows the user to drive the machine fluidly.

The SK-650's main tool attachment is the scoop/loader. The control for this tool is a single joystick on the right side of the control panel. Pushing the joystick forward lowers the scoop. Pulling the joystick back raises the scoop. Push to the right to rotate the scoop bucket up. Push to the left to rotate the bucket down (empty).

When the work is complete rotate the key counter-clockwise to power down the machine.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Beware of Angels with knives.

I often dream of the same places over and over. I have for years. They never change and only a few of them have anything to do with real places. I've given some of them names. Among the usual places are The Motel, The Top Of The Mountain, The Forest, and a rather odd version of my hometown. I say odd because it is laid out just like my hometown but it is different in one major respect: there are people there. Oh, there are people in my hometown but not like they are in the dreams. The dream version of my town is bustling with activity. There are stores downtown, alot of them, and the people walk the streets going into the shops. The movie theater is still a movie theater and shows all the big movies. Down the street near the bridge is a really great toy store full of wonders. The opposite end of the street is mostly restaurants, not empty houses and one old Methodist church like in the real world.

Some day I'll draw out a map of the dream version of my hometown but that is for another day. Right now what I wanted to talk about is another of the places I dream about: The Top Of The Mountain.

Let me begin by saying this: nothing good ever happens on The Top Of The Mountain. The basic setting is an area at the top of some mountain possibly in a national park. There is a large parking area and an overlook. All pretty normal and harmless. Then there is the building. It looks like most of the little building one finds in parks. The sort of place that might have an information desk, some displays of local wildlife, a park map and maybe even a little theater showing a 6 minute movie about whatever civil war battle was fought near by. Sometimes, depending on the dream, this place has all those things too. But not always. When it does you can be sure the map will never show "you are here" and never, never watch the movie.

There is one feature of the building that is always present no matter what else is there and that is The Cave. Just inside the door of the building there is a ramp that goes down to the left. I assume this is to allow easy access for the wheelchair bound. There is a railing on one side and the ramp turns to the right after a bit. This is the entrance to The Cave. It is a sort of display or diorama. It is a natural opening in the side of the mountain and inside they have set up a scene depicting native American life or something. I'm not really sure because I can never really look directly into The Cave. I have learned, or at least the dream version of me has learned, not to even go down there. But there is something in The Cave. It is not good. It's large and white and can destroy anything it contacts. I don't think even your soul could escape it.

Last night I visited The Top Of The Mountain and the building. I was there with some friends and we were making some sort of movie or video. The building housed some shops and a small cafe. The ramp was there but I stayed away. When we were done with our movie and packing up, one of the crew, a man named Angel, pulled out a box cutter and started stabbing my friends. I ran out and saw another friend coming toward me from the parking lot. As he turned to go into the building I saw he had already been stabbed. His back was soaked with blood. I found my car and fled. A rather tamed night considering some things that have happened on The Top Of The Mountain.

Nothing good happens on The Top Of The Mountain.

Pray, my Tender Lumplings, that I never tell you about The Motel.