OPEN LETTER TO THE INFOMERCIAL VOICE OVER GUY.
I have been watching television for a long time: nearly my entire life and professionally for nearly twenty years now. In all that time one thing, well, many things have been consistant, but the one I am talking about now is the voice of the guy who reads the phone number at the end of an infomercial. It has been the same voice for as long as I can remember. Who is this guy? How has he cornered the market on infomercial voice over for, Christ, more years than I can imagine. At least thirty-five or forty. I have a few ideas about this.
The first is the obvious: the guy has a great voice, he is very good at what he does and everyone wants to use him for their commercials. If he started in his twenties he would only be sixty or so now and that is not that old. It all makes perfect sense and is completely possible. Boring!
Maybe, the guy is the mastermind behind all infomercial products. He pre-recorded all those bits for the end of the infomercials years ago, making up product names on the spot, and has actually been dead for years. You see the script for the end of those things is always the same. “Call 1-800-###-#### now to order your (insert product) for only $19.99. Act now and receive a second (product name) just pay separate shipping and handling. Have your credit card ready and call 1-800-###-#####. That’s 1-800-###-#####.” Or some variation of that. I think the guy recorded hundreds of these things and then years later someone had to invent a product to fit the name he made up. And then they got the phone company to assign the phone number the dude made up as well. My only proof of this particular scenario is the fact that the voice in question is only ever reading the bit at the end of the commercial. The actual infomercial uses a different voice.
And why is everything $19.99.
Still, who is this guy? I had a theory for a while that it was a man named Danny Breen. He is an actor and comedian that was on Not Necessarily the News, a sketch comedy show on HBO in the 80’s. He has the voice for sure and I haven’t seen him on TV since that show. He could be recording these things in his home, collecting a check and living it up. NNTN was an Americanized version of a BBC show called Not the Nine O’clock News. It had Rowan Atkinson on it. It was very funny but only ran a few years. Two things the American series was not.
I’m sure the first of my theories is the right one. And if you want some really good comments about infomercials, look up the Mitch Hedberg bit about four easy payments. Classic. Take care my Tender Lumplings.
No comments:
Post a Comment