Well, my Tender Lumplings, I may not have told you this before but I'm not a big fan of New Years as a holiday. It is really just another day to me. Much like the 4th of July or Valentines Day or any number of other lab created holidays. I don't make merry myself at these times and I certainly don't make new years resolutions. I already know I'm not gonna do whatever it is I may say I'll do. Why kid myself.
However, I do sometimes make an informal list of things I'd like to do. And this year that list contains one unusual and possibly attainable goal. I am going to attempt to read nothing but the works of Philip K. Dick this year. I have a considerable collection of his novels and short fiction, some of which I have read, but most of it I have not. So, I will endeavor to work through all of it. Only then can I too be called a true "Dickhead".
Dick is not easy to read. Some of his ideas and thus some of his books are quite the ordeal to get through. Let's face it, the man was not right in the head. And so I may not make it very far in my quest. I may get so freaked out, paranoid or just down right depressed that I have to stop. But I am prepared to do my best. I shall enter this fight with a positive out look and a smile on my face. I'll keep you posted as to my progress.
What other tasks have I set for myself this year? Oh you know the usual stuff: eat better, loose weight, blah blah blah.
Until I see you again my dears.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Sunday, December 27, 2009
The Loudest of Silent Nights
It has been a long time since we met, my Tender Lumplings, but as we have talked about before this blogging thing is harder than you would think. Then add in the busy bustle of the holidays and it is even harder. But never fear that I have forgotten you. I'll aways return. I'm like Frosty the Snowman. Remember what Santa said about him. "He may go away for nearly a year at a time and take the form of spring and summer rain. But you can be sure that when a good December wind blows in, he'll be back"
So anyway a few things have happened since we met last. The previously mentioned holidays for one or two things. Thanksgiving was nice and yummy. Very filling. And then the mad rush to Christmas. It seemed to blow by so fast this year. One minute I'm eating turkey and the next we are wadding up the old wrapping paper and getting ready to take the tree down. Still it was a good time and a good holiday.
There have been some things I wanted to talk about here. A few points that I wanted to make. But now I don't remember some of them and I really don't feel like getting into anything too deep. I mostly just wanted to assure my Lumplings that their humble host and narrator is here. If we don't meet again until the new year then let me say "Happy New Year" And next year I will try to be more regular with my posts.
So anyway a few things have happened since we met last. The previously mentioned holidays for one or two things. Thanksgiving was nice and yummy. Very filling. And then the mad rush to Christmas. It seemed to blow by so fast this year. One minute I'm eating turkey and the next we are wadding up the old wrapping paper and getting ready to take the tree down. Still it was a good time and a good holiday.
There have been some things I wanted to talk about here. A few points that I wanted to make. But now I don't remember some of them and I really don't feel like getting into anything too deep. I mostly just wanted to assure my Lumplings that their humble host and narrator is here. If we don't meet again until the new year then let me say "Happy New Year" And next year I will try to be more regular with my posts.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Re-Inventing the harpsichord
I hope all my Tender Lumplings had a wonderful Halloween. I love that holiday. And I'm not talking about the costumes and candy and trick or treating. That is all silly stuff created for kids and I can frankly do with out kids. I like to think of Halloween in more or a sophisticated way. I like the Latino "Day of the Dead" ideas. Not evil, but a time for people to look at the darker side of themselves. It is a very complex time.
I didn't do much this Halloween. It was a quiet holiday and I kind of liked it that way. Seems to be a lot of stuff going on right now and I really just want a break. I won't bore you with the details but things are quite crazy right now. I don't know what to focus on and what to put on hold. I can't even decide what this entry of the blog is going to be about.
I recently heard the story of a man who's house was left untouched after a tornado passed through his town. His entire neighborhood was gone but his house stood, pristine, among the rubble. No doubt he celebrated this. He laughed and shouted and thanked God for sparing his home. A week later another storm comes and his house is struck by lightening twice. Between the fire and the water the house is destroyed.
Now, what are we to take from this? It seems almost too strange to be true. Could it be nature correcting an earlier mistake? Perhaps his house was supposed to have fallen to the tornado and was now being taken by another means to restore balance. Or was it Karma? He celebrated his good fortune in the face of his neighbor's loss. Was this new tragedy payback? He thanked God for saving his home from the tornado, so was he now blaming Satan for sending the lightening?
I do not believe in fate or destiny. I could never agree when my Mother would say that something would happen if "it was meant to be". But I don't think anyone can deny that we, as humans, just animals on this rock, are basically helpless to the overwhelming power of nature. And God, if he truly pays any attention to what happens here, having control over nature, is obviously of such magnificent power, cannot be understood. How can we even fathom with our puny minds something so vast and awesome as God. It would be like trying to explain the idea of the universe, or multiple universes, to and ant. We are so ignorant and insignificant that we can never expect to know the truth of what is really going on. Or what is reality. We cannot experience anything outside of our own minds and thus cannot know what exist outside our minds.
Philip K. Dick was not insane. His reality was as valid as any one's. Just because he was the only one to see or hear something doesn't mean it was any less real. The monsters may, according to others, only exist in your head but that makes then just as real as anything else you experience. And they can do just as much damage.
Well, my Tender Lumplings, I'm not sure how I got off on that subject but there you go. Sleep well, if you can, and I'll see you soon.
I didn't do much this Halloween. It was a quiet holiday and I kind of liked it that way. Seems to be a lot of stuff going on right now and I really just want a break. I won't bore you with the details but things are quite crazy right now. I don't know what to focus on and what to put on hold. I can't even decide what this entry of the blog is going to be about.
I recently heard the story of a man who's house was left untouched after a tornado passed through his town. His entire neighborhood was gone but his house stood, pristine, among the rubble. No doubt he celebrated this. He laughed and shouted and thanked God for sparing his home. A week later another storm comes and his house is struck by lightening twice. Between the fire and the water the house is destroyed.
Now, what are we to take from this? It seems almost too strange to be true. Could it be nature correcting an earlier mistake? Perhaps his house was supposed to have fallen to the tornado and was now being taken by another means to restore balance. Or was it Karma? He celebrated his good fortune in the face of his neighbor's loss. Was this new tragedy payback? He thanked God for saving his home from the tornado, so was he now blaming Satan for sending the lightening?
I do not believe in fate or destiny. I could never agree when my Mother would say that something would happen if "it was meant to be". But I don't think anyone can deny that we, as humans, just animals on this rock, are basically helpless to the overwhelming power of nature. And God, if he truly pays any attention to what happens here, having control over nature, is obviously of such magnificent power, cannot be understood. How can we even fathom with our puny minds something so vast and awesome as God. It would be like trying to explain the idea of the universe, or multiple universes, to and ant. We are so ignorant and insignificant that we can never expect to know the truth of what is really going on. Or what is reality. We cannot experience anything outside of our own minds and thus cannot know what exist outside our minds.
Philip K. Dick was not insane. His reality was as valid as any one's. Just because he was the only one to see or hear something doesn't mean it was any less real. The monsters may, according to others, only exist in your head but that makes then just as real as anything else you experience. And they can do just as much damage.
Well, my Tender Lumplings, I'm not sure how I got off on that subject but there you go. Sleep well, if you can, and I'll see you soon.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Return of the Power Trio
Blogging is hard work. Don't let anyone tell you any different. It's not like working on a road crew or hanging steel building a skyscraper. It's not as hard as being a plumber or a cop. But trying to come up with something to write about everyday, or even every few days, is pretty tough. Unless you are one of those losers who blogs everything they do no matter how trivial and mundane. But let's face it, that is pointless and a total waste of time. If all you have to do is sit there and write about who your Alphabits spelled out a rude and amusing word this morning or the funny face your cat made, well then you should just turn in your human race membership card and go away.
I'm not saying that anything I've put in this blog is a mind blowing revelation. I'm not in the business of shifting paradigms or redefining genres. I don't even know what most of those words mean.
Anyway, My Tender Lumplings, it has been a while since we last met. A lot has happened and much of it was worthy of it's own blog entry but I didn't manage to compose a single line. So here I will give a brief note to three of the top happenings:
The Dreams: Over several nights I dreamt of hauntings, towns that don't exist, a wonderful song that I couldn't remember when I awoke and various other strange things. The one that bothered me the most was the song. It was a really great song and would be a hit. If I could remember it.
The Car: I don't know if I've mentioned my project that I'm working on. I am trying to bring a 1986 Fiero back from the edge of life. It works but not at all well. I tried to drive it for the first time the other day and it wouldn't even back out of the drive.
The Craft: The holidays are coming and I am trying to develop some lovely items to sell to make some cash to buy more lovely items. I am devilishly clever and extremely talented, if I do say, so I'm sure it will all be a great success. I'm also selling beachfront property on the moon.
Until we meet again.
I'm not saying that anything I've put in this blog is a mind blowing revelation. I'm not in the business of shifting paradigms or redefining genres. I don't even know what most of those words mean.
Anyway, My Tender Lumplings, it has been a while since we last met. A lot has happened and much of it was worthy of it's own blog entry but I didn't manage to compose a single line. So here I will give a brief note to three of the top happenings:
The Dreams: Over several nights I dreamt of hauntings, towns that don't exist, a wonderful song that I couldn't remember when I awoke and various other strange things. The one that bothered me the most was the song. It was a really great song and would be a hit. If I could remember it.
The Car: I don't know if I've mentioned my project that I'm working on. I am trying to bring a 1986 Fiero back from the edge of life. It works but not at all well. I tried to drive it for the first time the other day and it wouldn't even back out of the drive.
The Craft: The holidays are coming and I am trying to develop some lovely items to sell to make some cash to buy more lovely items. I am devilishly clever and extremely talented, if I do say, so I'm sure it will all be a great success. I'm also selling beachfront property on the moon.
Until we meet again.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Do Not Opperate Heavy Machinery
Presented now a (very) brief overview of the operation of the Ditch Witch SK-650 mini skid steer.
The SK-650 is powered by a small diesel engine which both drives the treads and the hydraulic pump. To start the engine insert the key in the top right side of the control panel. Switch to the ON position and then rotate clockwise to the START position. Release the key when the engine starts. Do not hold the key in the START position for more than 20 seconds if the engine does not engage.
Driving the SK-650 is by means of two levers on the left side of the control panel. The left lever controls the left tread and the right lever controls the right tread. Pushing both forward moves the machine forward. Pull back to move in reverse. Moving only the left lever forward moves the machine to the right. Moving only the right lever moves the machine to the left. Moving both levers together in varying degrees allows the user to drive the machine fluidly.
The SK-650's main tool attachment is the scoop/loader. The control for this tool is a single joystick on the right side of the control panel. Pushing the joystick forward lowers the scoop. Pulling the joystick back raises the scoop. Push to the right to rotate the scoop bucket up. Push to the left to rotate the bucket down (empty).
When the work is complete rotate the key counter-clockwise to power down the machine.
The SK-650 is powered by a small diesel engine which both drives the treads and the hydraulic pump. To start the engine insert the key in the top right side of the control panel. Switch to the ON position and then rotate clockwise to the START position. Release the key when the engine starts. Do not hold the key in the START position for more than 20 seconds if the engine does not engage.
Driving the SK-650 is by means of two levers on the left side of the control panel. The left lever controls the left tread and the right lever controls the right tread. Pushing both forward moves the machine forward. Pull back to move in reverse. Moving only the left lever forward moves the machine to the right. Moving only the right lever moves the machine to the left. Moving both levers together in varying degrees allows the user to drive the machine fluidly.
The SK-650's main tool attachment is the scoop/loader. The control for this tool is a single joystick on the right side of the control panel. Pushing the joystick forward lowers the scoop. Pulling the joystick back raises the scoop. Push to the right to rotate the scoop bucket up. Push to the left to rotate the bucket down (empty).
When the work is complete rotate the key counter-clockwise to power down the machine.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Beware of Angels with knives.
I often dream of the same places over and over. I have for years. They never change and only a few of them have anything to do with real places. I've given some of them names. Among the usual places are The Motel, The Top Of The Mountain, The Forest, and a rather odd version of my hometown. I say odd because it is laid out just like my hometown but it is different in one major respect: there are people there. Oh, there are people in my hometown but not like they are in the dreams. The dream version of my town is bustling with activity. There are stores downtown, alot of them, and the people walk the streets going into the shops. The movie theater is still a movie theater and shows all the big movies. Down the street near the bridge is a really great toy store full of wonders. The opposite end of the street is mostly restaurants, not empty houses and one old Methodist church like in the real world.
Some day I'll draw out a map of the dream version of my hometown but that is for another day. Right now what I wanted to talk about is another of the places I dream about: The Top Of The Mountain.
Let me begin by saying this: nothing good ever happens on The Top Of The Mountain. The basic setting is an area at the top of some mountain possibly in a national park. There is a large parking area and an overlook. All pretty normal and harmless. Then there is the building. It looks like most of the little building one finds in parks. The sort of place that might have an information desk, some displays of local wildlife, a park map and maybe even a little theater showing a 6 minute movie about whatever civil war battle was fought near by. Sometimes, depending on the dream, this place has all those things too. But not always. When it does you can be sure the map will never show "you are here" and never, never watch the movie.
There is one feature of the building that is always present no matter what else is there and that is The Cave. Just inside the door of the building there is a ramp that goes down to the left. I assume this is to allow easy access for the wheelchair bound. There is a railing on one side and the ramp turns to the right after a bit. This is the entrance to The Cave. It is a sort of display or diorama. It is a natural opening in the side of the mountain and inside they have set up a scene depicting native American life or something. I'm not really sure because I can never really look directly into The Cave. I have learned, or at least the dream version of me has learned, not to even go down there. But there is something in The Cave. It is not good. It's large and white and can destroy anything it contacts. I don't think even your soul could escape it.
Last night I visited The Top Of The Mountain and the building. I was there with some friends and we were making some sort of movie or video. The building housed some shops and a small cafe. The ramp was there but I stayed away. When we were done with our movie and packing up, one of the crew, a man named Angel, pulled out a box cutter and started stabbing my friends. I ran out and saw another friend coming toward me from the parking lot. As he turned to go into the building I saw he had already been stabbed. His back was soaked with blood. I found my car and fled. A rather tamed night considering some things that have happened on The Top Of The Mountain.
Nothing good happens on The Top Of The Mountain.
Pray, my Tender Lumplings, that I never tell you about The Motel.
Some day I'll draw out a map of the dream version of my hometown but that is for another day. Right now what I wanted to talk about is another of the places I dream about: The Top Of The Mountain.
Let me begin by saying this: nothing good ever happens on The Top Of The Mountain. The basic setting is an area at the top of some mountain possibly in a national park. There is a large parking area and an overlook. All pretty normal and harmless. Then there is the building. It looks like most of the little building one finds in parks. The sort of place that might have an information desk, some displays of local wildlife, a park map and maybe even a little theater showing a 6 minute movie about whatever civil war battle was fought near by. Sometimes, depending on the dream, this place has all those things too. But not always. When it does you can be sure the map will never show "you are here" and never, never watch the movie.
There is one feature of the building that is always present no matter what else is there and that is The Cave. Just inside the door of the building there is a ramp that goes down to the left. I assume this is to allow easy access for the wheelchair bound. There is a railing on one side and the ramp turns to the right after a bit. This is the entrance to The Cave. It is a sort of display or diorama. It is a natural opening in the side of the mountain and inside they have set up a scene depicting native American life or something. I'm not really sure because I can never really look directly into The Cave. I have learned, or at least the dream version of me has learned, not to even go down there. But there is something in The Cave. It is not good. It's large and white and can destroy anything it contacts. I don't think even your soul could escape it.
Last night I visited The Top Of The Mountain and the building. I was there with some friends and we were making some sort of movie or video. The building housed some shops and a small cafe. The ramp was there but I stayed away. When we were done with our movie and packing up, one of the crew, a man named Angel, pulled out a box cutter and started stabbing my friends. I ran out and saw another friend coming toward me from the parking lot. As he turned to go into the building I saw he had already been stabbed. His back was soaked with blood. I found my car and fled. A rather tamed night considering some things that have happened on The Top Of The Mountain.
Nothing good happens on The Top Of The Mountain.
Pray, my Tender Lumplings, that I never tell you about The Motel.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Frog in the Fireplace
It is strange the way a small thing can upset your entire life. A butterfly flaps it wings and all that. My weekend was going along pretty well even if it wouldn't stop raining. We got a lot of work done. Our old house is almost ready to go back on the market. I even was having what may have been the beginnings of a spiritual awakening or sorts. But then it happened.
I was sleeping somewhat peacefully. I had nodded off after reading for a while and my lovely wife was still up. Then she woke me with these words: "there is a frog in the fireplace". She had noticed the cat staring into the fireplace and then she saw why. A little tree frog stuck to the inside of the glass doors on the fireplace. It was so surreal. Especially to someone who had just regained consciousness.
So I had to get a plastic cup and scoop the little guy up and take him out. Everything turned out fine. But my sense of the world and how it works is forever damaged. I can't even look at the fireplace anymore with out wondering what sort or creature might crawl out of it next. I mean really, a frog? In the fireplace? How does that happen? What will it be next? I'll open the oven and find a giraffe. It wouldn't surprise me any less.
All in all not a bad weekend. It was way too short. It really flew by. And it was weird. Very, very weird. You know me, my Tender Lumplings, and that I am no stranger to weird. I love it. I thrive on it. But I cannot stress this enough: THERE WAS A FROG IN MY FIREPLACE!!!!
I was sleeping somewhat peacefully. I had nodded off after reading for a while and my lovely wife was still up. Then she woke me with these words: "there is a frog in the fireplace". She had noticed the cat staring into the fireplace and then she saw why. A little tree frog stuck to the inside of the glass doors on the fireplace. It was so surreal. Especially to someone who had just regained consciousness.
So I had to get a plastic cup and scoop the little guy up and take him out. Everything turned out fine. But my sense of the world and how it works is forever damaged. I can't even look at the fireplace anymore with out wondering what sort or creature might crawl out of it next. I mean really, a frog? In the fireplace? How does that happen? What will it be next? I'll open the oven and find a giraffe. It wouldn't surprise me any less.
All in all not a bad weekend. It was way too short. It really flew by. And it was weird. Very, very weird. You know me, my Tender Lumplings, and that I am no stranger to weird. I love it. I thrive on it. But I cannot stress this enough: THERE WAS A FROG IN MY FIREPLACE!!!!
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