These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

The time has come once again my Tender Lumplings to acknowledge the anniversary of my birth.  I didn't, you will notice, say celebrate.  I do celebrate my birthday in my own way but I try not to make a big deal of it.  I don't want a bunch of fuss and hoopla.  On my birthday, as with every other day in the year, I only want to be with my wife and my animals.  The main difference being I may get some cake, or pie.  Oh, and there are usually some gifts. 

I don't get gifts like I did as a kid.  Back then there were presents with wrapping and ribbon and all that sort of things and it was great.  But as we get older the gifts get less elaborate.  Usually there is no fancy wrapping and ribbon.  Often there is not even a gift bag. Somebody just hands you something and that is that.  And that is fine with me.  I don't need all that stuff.  Heck I don't even need gifts.  Having grown older and wiser and having studied for some time now various theological and mystical ideologies, I have progressed passed the need for and pursuit of material things.  I require only the meekest of physical objects to sustain myself.  My intellectual and spiritual possessions are far more important. 

And that is all crap.  I have studied various theological and mystical ideologies and I still don't get the whole "renounce possessions" stuff.  I like my stuff and I don't want to throw it all away and see no reason why I should.  The late Guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi was once asked why he surrounded himself with flowers when you were not supposed to want for physical things. He responded by saying why not surround yourself with beautiful things?  God made all the flowers of the world and they are beautiful so why not admire them.  The same goes for anything as far as I am concerned.  If God is everyone and everything then why do all the so-called "holy" people keep saying "renounce all worldly objects".  And if possessions and money and such are to be considered worthless, why are the streets of Heaven paved with Gold.  A: that would make a lousy paving surface for a street and 2: who needs gold in Heaven.  I was kind of hoping Heaven would be like an all-inclusive vacation:  everything is paid for and you only have to have cash for like liquor. 

The point of this is simply I like my stuff.  I even admit to loving some of my stuff.  I have some books I actually love.  I have some signed copies of some Iain Banks that I really treasure. I have several first editions that are really cool.  I also love my car and my guitars.  I really love my guitars.  I don't play that well but I do love those chunks of wood.  I do not love my TV or my DVDs. They are cool but I don't love them.  And as much as I treasure music, (it really is probably the biggest joy of my life), I don't love my compact discs.  Maybe if I collected old vinyl LPs?  They have a very romanticised culture around them but I don't go for that. 

So, with my birth anniversary looming in the headlights I am embracing my materialistic side and saying "come on with the pressies".  And I would also like to acknowledge the dates exactly one and two weeks prior to my birthday, the 3rd and 10th of May, which are the birthdays of two of the greatest ladies to ever grace the surface of this ball of mud.  They are loved and missed dearly.  Take care my dearies, until we meet again...

Humane Bean

Spring has sprung, my Tender Lumplings, and so of course things are beginning to be crazy.  Projects long planned and dreams long dreamed are once again brought out and dusted off and attempted.  I say "attempted" because I know from past experience that they usually don't make it too much further than the "attempted" stage.  But this time it will be different.  Really.  In fact several of the projects in progress have already gone further than I had expected.  So it all may really happen this time.  I'll keep you informed. 

But what I really want to talk a little bit about are humans.  More specifically the blatant stupidity and unsurpassed uselessness of them.  If it weren't for needing a few of them around to do the nasty stuff I don't want to do, I could quite happily do without humans.  And recently I have been reminded of this on many occasions.  Yesterday, for example, every human I came in contact with was extra dumb.  When you find yourself explaining the same very simple concept to someone over and over, both verbally and in writing, and they still cannot "get it", then something is very wrong.  Let's not even go into the completely ridiculous questions they were asking me. 

I hear you now.  I know what you are saying.  "But surely you must like someone?  Not all people are so pointless?"  You are right.  And also wrong.  I do like some people.  Quite a lot of them really but I have a theory that they, like myself, are not human.  We are something else, something more.  Not the next step in human evolution, no I think humans have just about run their course.  We are beyond human.  We are a separate, though physically similar, species.  It is the mental and emotional characteristics that set us apart mostly.  We are smarter and more emotionally attune to ourselves and one another.  We have a much better understanding of our place in the world and how we and it react to each other.  Our common sense is vastly more developed than your garden variety human.  And, if I may say so, we are more attractive as a whole than humans.  (However I do admit that there are some humans that, though they may be dumber than a bag of hammers, are freaking gorgeous.)

I believe it may have something to do with the idea of the "old soul".  Most religions believe that the "soul" or "life force" or whatever term they use, is eternal.  It exists beyond our physical bodies.  It is timeless and endless.  In the Bhagavad Gita the Lord Krishna says "there has never been a time when I did not exist.  And there will never be a time when I do not exist."  Some cultures believe we are born over and over again in a process called Re-incarnation.  Others, like Buddhist and Hindus think we are re-incarnated in hopes that after a while we will "get it right" and live a life so pure and selfless that we can earn or achieve peace and release from the cycle of rebirth. 

Perhaps we, the special ones, are the "old souls".  We have been around for a very long time and have lived these lives countless times and now we are learning.  Perhaps this time around will be when we "get it right".  We may all be close to our Nirvana.  A time when we are free of suffering and will join completely in Brahman for good. 

As for me personally, I don't think I'm quite there yet.  I may need another trip or two on this mud ball.  But I dearly hope you, my Tender Lumplings will have peace now and beyond. 

I Have A Cunning Plan...

Well, my Tender Lumplings, I have to confess I am quite pleased with my amount of posting I've managed so far this year.  My goal is to post as much as I can and hopefully match or surpass my best year which I believe is about 18 posts.  But I have not and will not compromise my rule of only posting when I have something specific to talk about.  This is one of the things that causes the long silences.  I don't want this page to become just a outlet for meaningless meanderings.  I can't just tell you about my day and what I had for lunch.  That would be worse than boring.  But it would make it much easier to post more often. 

For example, I have several projects in the works right now that I would like to tell you all about.  But I won't.  That is not for this blog.  This is not a journal or a diary.  How sad and pointless would that be to write about such things.  "Today I went to the store for some chocolate milk.  But all they had was a jug of non-dairy chocolate drink. I didn't buy it."  Of course I didn't buy it.  Who the fuck would buy non-dairy chocolate drink?  And why would I write about it?  And why would you read about it? 

This is not to say that things that happen in my daily trip on this spinning ball of mud don't influence what I discuss here.  Of course it would work that way.  Like when I have one of those crazy dreams or that whole poison ivy debacle a few years back.  But I didn't just relate an account of the happening.  These events spark questions that feed ideas that turn into ponderings that I share with you, my dearies.  And I hope you gain a little something from them.  I hope they make you think and question.  I want you to have your own spark and maybe even nurture it into a flame of inquisition that consumes you and all around you until knowledge and truth and a greater understanding of the universe and all of us and everything is drawn out into the light of that conflagration so that we can all see it and learn and live free from worry and hypocrisy.

And that, my Tender Lumplings, is one of the longest sentences I ever wrote. 

As you may have guess, when I began to compose this post I had no clear idea of what I wanted to talk about.  I usually always have at least some idea before I start and it is waiting for those ideas that cause me to not post for long periods.  Starting a post without a clue as to its topic is something I avoided on purpose until today.  This was an experiment to see what would happen.  Now we know.  I think I need to go back to making sure I have an idea first.  Or else I, your humble Narrator, will have to change my name to the Rambling Random Babbler.  Until next time.

Who the hell is Niblik?

Your humble Narrator is perplexed my Tender Lumplings.  I have been presented with some information that has me ponder many things.  You see, this blog provides me with some data on how many times people view my posts and where those people are.  Most of the page views have been from the US and Canada.  But then I have 23 views from Russia.  Ok, that is odd.  And then a few from Japan.  Ok, that's cool.  But then it gets strange.  I have a single view from Latvia and India.  I haven't a clue where Latvia is.  And a view from, get this, Nepal.  What?  Really?  I can just picture a little Sherpa guy up to his nether region in snow, guiding some white dudes up the Himalayas and stopping to check out what I have to say on his laptop. 

I know that is probably not what happened.  It was probably just somebody who came by my ramblings quite by accident.  That is how I explain all the single views I have had \from various countries.  The 23 views from Russia are a little more puzzling.  That is a big place so it isn't inconceivable to think 23 people have accidentally ended up on my site.  But what if it isn't that?  Could there be somebody over there who has actually stopped by my blog repeatedly?  That would be cool. 

So, this is what I'm gonna do.  I would like to appeal to my international readers, if they indeed exist, to leave a comment the next time to stop by.  Just say hi.  And to my friends whom I know read this, you do not have to leave any comments.  I get enough of you people's comments in person.

Anywho, it is fun to think I've gone international.  I'm taking my message to the streets all over the world.  I'm gonna let the people know the truth.  I'm gonna bring the people what they need.  Then we will rise up and...  on second thought, nah.  Revolution is too much work.  Let's just veg out in front of the TV.  Until next time my dear ones.

Take a flying Leap Day!

It seems my Tender Lumplings that another Leap Year has arrived and today, Leap Day, is what the fuss is all about.  So once every four years we get to have a February 29.  As if February wasn't a screwed up month already.  It usually only has 28 days while all other months have at least 30.  It is stuck in winter, in this hemisphere, and starts off with a holiday that nearly always predicts more winter.  I think they stuck Valentine's Day in February just so the month wouldn't be a complete waste. 

All of this fuss over Leap Year is due to one simple fact: the measuring of the passage of time is not an exact science.  The search for an accurate time measurement system has been going on since time began, or since time began to be noticed.  Early man realized the passage of time and has been trying to measure it ever since. Animals don't care about time and neither did the first vaguely humanoid things that fell out of the trees. After he stood upright and looked up at the sky he noticed something.  The first most obvious clue was the rising and setting of the sun.  Then there was the way the moon and stars didn't appear in the sky in the same place or for the same amount of time each night.  Of course all this was first attributed to the Gods and their whims.  But then patterns began to emerge and someone started taking notes.

Calenders began to appear pretty early on.  And through history there have been countless versions.  Lunar calendars and Lunisolar, Sidereal, forced synchronization called "intercalation".  There are Julian, Gregorian, Hebrew, Iranian, Islamic calenders.  And they are all different some how.  Some differ by thousands of years.  The comic Jackie Mason noted how the Hebrew calendar dated back nearly a thousand years further than the Chinese one.  Which made him ask the question: "How did the Jews survive a thousand years with out Chinese takeout?"

It is fairly widely recognized that some of these other old calendars are more accurate than today's.  Most of the world has now settled on using one calender, a modified Gregorian based system.  They figured out how many days each month should have and decided a year was 365 (ish) days.  And so we have to add one day every four years to make up for the math.  Leap Day.  Today. 

What does all this really mean.  Simple, once every four years we have to wait and extra day to get to Christmas.  Leap Year sucks. 

Good For You... Now Piss Off!

I have tried not to complain too much on this blog.  It is not, nor shall it ever be, my intention to use this as a platform for simply pointing out things that I dislike.  Yes, I will do that on occasion but I don't want to and will not allow it to become a frequent feature.  This blog is about more than that.  Sometimes it is about a lot less.  But still, my Tender Lumplings, I promise not to abuse my power here by assaulting you with my pet peeves. 

So, with that out of the way, I'm sure you all have already guessed what I am about to do.  But I will make it fast and then get on with some deep philosophical crap to make the few moments you spend here today worthwhile. 

The complaint:  I hate it when people use the phrase "If I can do it anyone can".  This is offensive to me on many levels.  One being that it is an out right lie.  Just because you have done something does not mean anyone else can achieve the same goal.  It is, in some cases, so far from the truth as to be insulting.  Say someone ran a marathon.  Does this mean my grandmother could also run a marathon?  No, of course she couldn't.  Does it mean a quadriplegic could run a marathon?  No, and it is terrible to say so.  Maybe someone wrote a book.  Does this mean the man in a coma at the hospital could write a book?  No. 

I think you see what I mean. 

The second reason I hate this phrase is the way it makes the person saying it out to be some sort of self confessed loser who has achieved some great feat.  Like these people had so little faith in themselves, thought so little of themselves, that somehow running that marathon or losing 20 pounds or getting a GED was some sort of miracle.  And if a completely worthless bag of crap like them could do it, so could anyone.  And we have already proven that to be wrong.  Is it supposed to inspire me?  If that waste of life can do it...so can I!  No, sorry.  It just shows me how little people think of themselves and me. 

Maybe it is because I am intelligent enough to see through their crap.  Maybe it is because I have a positive opinion of myself and my self worth.  I know I can do great things.  I have done great things.  But I also know that just anyone else couldn't do the things I have done.  Or the things I will do.  For what ever reason.  I may have mental or physical capabilities that other do not.  I'm sure that there are things others can do that I could never do.  But I would never belittle myself, or my fellow beings, but saying that ridiculous phrase.

And now for that deep philosophical advice.  It comes to us from that great film Big Trouble In Little China.  "A brave man doesn't mind the feel of nature on his face. And a wise man knows when to get in out of the rain."  Until we meet again my dears.

Hell Is A Capitalist State

Well, my Tender Lumplings, it is time once again to delve into the murky waters of my unconscious mind.  Yes, today we will be presenting another laugh filled edition of The Dream Journal.  Now several times before on this blog I have regaled you all with stories of my nocturnal travels though that dark and twisted landscape known as my dreams.  I have told you about the various place that I seem to frequent: the Top of The Mountain, the Motel, etc.  Today I will introduce you to a new location that I call The Marketplace. 

I don't know what town is exists in, probably the same town where the Motel is, but it is not anyplace that I have actually been in my waking life.  It is a single street, very long and straight, and there are a few streets that cross it.  There is one big main intersection that is wide and open with the buildings sitting well back from the corners.  There is a statue or fountain or something on one corner.  And this is the only place in the Marketplace where there is any traffic to speak of though you never have a problem crossing the street. 

The main feature of The Marketplace is the shops.  They are plentiful to say the least and one can find anything in them.  I mean ANYTHING.  Near the intersection they are mostly nice little stores selling nice little things. There are some lovely restaurants and cafes.  But the further one walks down the street the shops change.  I want to tell you about a couple of places that I visited just last night. 

There are two shops in The Marketplace that I visit fairly regularly: the music store and the comic shop.  They are both long, narrow shops that consist of one or two long aisles.  Depending on the dream they can sometimes be open air shops, like they are just rows of product set out along the sidewalk, but usually they are enclosed in building set right against a hillside.  They have to be long and thin to fit between the hillside and the street thus making the stores only about 8 feet deep and 100 feet long.  The music store has every album by every artist ever and a lot by artist that never existed.  The comic shop is filled with comic books and model car kits.  They are always packed with customers. 

Last night something strange happened.  I visited the marketplace and the shops were closed.  They have never been closed before.  The comic shop and the music store, which this time were both open to the elements, were also closed but because they had no building around them, I could just walk about and look at the stuff on the shelves.  There were a couple of other people walking around but I didn't know them.  It was very disturbing. 

Before I go I have to tell you about one other shop that I haven't been too in a long time.  It sits up an empty side street just off The Marketplace.  It is a dusty and dark, cramped little store.  But the treasures it holds are unimaginable.  Like Pandora opened her box and used the contents to open a pawn shop.  The wonders.  You can find your hearts desire and lose you soul at the same time.  I have spent many a long night lost in its magical aisles.  Some nights I didn't want to wake up. 

I hate those dreams the most.

Well, my Tender ones, that is The Marketplace.  Well, one side of the street at least.  Pray I never tell you about the other side.  Until then....